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05/30/2003 Entry: "Dreams of pink"

Youji is trying to music virus me back into writing Weiss (can't stop singing "Otherside," argh), but at the moment Seishirou seems to have taken command of the brain cell. Go, Seishirou! I've actually made slow but steady progress on "Sakura" for two days in a row, which, considering how hard I've been running from this chapter, is more miraculous than it sounds. It's funny how anxiety-ridden I can get with this--there are times, like today, when I literally have to say to myself, "Okay, all you have to do is sit there and write *one word.* One word! And then you'll have achieved something." Because if I try to think about writing more than that one word, I get paralyzed. But if I can sit down in front of the computer long enough to get that first word down on the screen, then I somehow can keep going with the sentences and the paragraphs.

Ironically, I thought this section was going to be *easy.* I mean, it's between smut bits, it's just cute dialogue and a tiny bit of Subaru backstory and maybe some flirting. No problem, right? Unfortunately, it turns out that Seishirou is having one of his almost-but-not-quite-getting-it moments, and I think his subconscious resistance is affecting me. But we've just gotten to the smooching part, so I think the worst struggle is over. *crosses fingers*

In other news, I dropped a huge post on the CFFML dealing with the current turmoil about feedback giving and who we all write for. For sheer verbal tonnage, I think I win. I don't think I killed anyone, though. ^_^ At least I managed by the skin of my teeth not to rant--I had the ranty bit all written, and then sanity intervened and I cut that part. Whew.

Now I'd better actually go and catch up with last last few month's worth of fics. ^^